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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23374795">Regressive Behaviour</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra'>Ultra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lois &amp; Clark: The New Adventures of Superman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidents, Age Regression/De-Aging, Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Childishness, F/M, Ice Cream, Married Couple, POV Clark Kent, Phone Calls &amp; Telephones, Season/Series 04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:36:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,629</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23374795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Clark returns home to find his wife, Lois, literally acting like a six year old, it's almost more than even Superman can handle!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clark Kent/Lois Lane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Wayback Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Regressive Behaviour</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungle_ride/gifts">jungle_ride</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For jungle_ride - I never actually wrote anything for this fandom before, though I am more than familiar enough with the canon to give it a try (at least, I thought so!). Hopefully, the result is something akin to what you were hoping for when you made your request. I did my best :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Lois, could you please stop?”</p>
<p>“No! Stop being a party pooper, Clark!”</p>
<p>When she ran from him, he knew he could give chase and catch her easily. He could also take away her ‘toys’ and make her sit still, not least because he had all those super powers that came in very handy, but Clark Kent was not exactly a fan of using those kinds of abilities to deal with his wife, who was currently acting like a six year old, literally.</p>
<p>“It’s boring here!” she said then, snapping her gum loudly. “Ooh, I know, I know! We can go to the Planet! Yeah, we can see Perry, and Jimmy, and Ralph, and...”</p>
<p>“Lois!” Clark complained, rubbing his forehead that was seriously starting to ache, even though he was usually immune to such things. “You can’t drive,” he reminded her as she reached for the car keys on the hook.</p>
<p>“Can too!” she countered, poking out her tongue and heading for the door.</p>
<p>That time, Clark did have to use his superspeed to ensure he got to the door first, blocking her way. Until he figured out how to fix what was wrong with her, he really did not want Lois out in the world where people could see her. Not that he was enjoying sharing his marital home with a version of his wife that thought she was a child either, but it was the best option he had right now.</p>
<p>“Cla-rk!” she complained, shoving at him, to no avail. “Fine!” she sighed eventually, rolling her eyes for good measure. “<i>You</i> can take me to the Planet, just don’t drop me, okay?”</p>
<p>“Drop you?” Clark checked, barely having a chance to react before Lois literally leapt into his arms and he was forced to catch her.</p>
<p>“Come on,” she prompted when he didn’t move at all. “If we’re going then... go,” she said, making a swooshing motion with one hand, an old short-hand they had developed to represent his flying as Superman.</p>
<p>For a moment, he was amazed that she remembered that. He really wasn’t sure how this whole de-aging process worked. It was a lot like three Christmases ago, when most everybody got sprayed with those awful Atomic Space Rat toys and every adult acted like greedy children, including Clark himself. Not that Lois was acting especially selfish, just childish, but that wasn’t much better. Clark only wished he knew exactly how and why it occurred.</p>
<p>“Earth to Clark!” said Lois then, knocking on the side of his head with her fist. “Aren’t we going?” she asked, wide-eyed and apparently innocent.</p>
<p>Clark felt strange. She was his wife, in every way that mattered, in looks and voice, beautiful eyes and inviting smile, but in her head, she was no more than six and her behaviour was that of a child, for the most part. He put her down very quickly.</p>
<p>“Um, actually, couldn’t we stay here a while longer?” he suggested. “You know, I’m pretty sure there’s ice-cream in the kitchen. Wouldn’t you like some ice-cream, Lois?”</p>
<p>“Ooh, yeah!” she exclaimed, delightedly clapping her hands. “Can I go get it? Can I? Can I?”</p>
<p>“Sure, you go right ahead,” Clark told her with a smile and a gentle nudge towards the kitchen door.</p>
<p>“Rocky Road! Rocky Road!” she was chanting as she skipped away.</p>
<p>Shaking his head, Clark quickly grabbed the phone, planning to dial his parents’ number. He really had no idea how to handle kids and until Lois sobered up, or whatever it was she needed to do, he could use some advice. He was pretty sure you were not supposed to give a child treats just to keep them quiet, but right now, he was desperate.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the number for the Kent Farm just rang and rang then went to the machine, and Clark wasn’t sure what kind of message he could leave that wouldn’t sound crazy or just worry his parents with its vagueness.</p>
<p>He was about to put the phone down when he had another thought and dialled the number for Star Labs instead. The moment he got through, he asked for Dr Klein.</p>
<p>“Who’s calling please?”</p>
<p>Clark opened his mouth to give his name and then changed his mind, putting on a slightly stronger tone. “Tell him it’s Superman and it’s urgent.”</p>
<p>In no time at all, the good doctor was on the line and ready to help in any way he could. Clark went back to his regular voice, explaining that Superman had to go, but he was able to explain the problem anyway. He told Dr Klein all about Lois’ strange behaviour and everything he knew so far, which unfortunately wasn’t much. He came home from the store and suddenly she was acting like a somewhat bratty child, with no real explanation. When he had asked her what happened, she seemed to want to evade the question, unless of course she really didn’t know the answer.</p>
<p>“I didn’t like to push too much,” he explained in a low voice, mindful of Lois in the next room overhearing, though the way she was singing along to the radio now, he doubted she would anyway. “Since she’s acting so young, I figured if I got mad at her or she got too stressed out, I’d end up dealing with a tantrum or something.”</p>
<p>Dr Klein made several thoughtful sounds, asked a few more questions, and decided there could be a number of possible causes.</p>
<p>“Of course, I’d have to see her myself to figure out exactly what happened, but you’re right, it does sound highly reminiscent of the compound used by the toy maker, Mr Schott, a few years ago. I suppose it’s possible that someone else recreated the formula, in which case, it should wear off soon.”</p>
<p>A crash in the kitchen made Clark wince. “Not soon enough,” he muttered. “Dr Klein, could you come over as soon as possible? I’d feel better knowing you’d taken a look at Lois, even if you don’t have an answer on how to fix the problem right now.”</p>
<p>“Of course, Clark. I’ll be there in a half hour.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Dr Klein.”</p>
<p>Ending the call, Clark stared at the kitchen door, unsure whether he really wanted to go in or not. Taking a deep breath, he summoned up the courage, got up and walked on through to the next room. There in a heap on the floor was a whole pile of kitchen utensils, a large splatter of ice-cream, and in the centre, standing lop-sidedly on one heeled and one unheeled shoe, was Lois.</p>
<p>“Oops?” she offered, squirming awkwardly. “I, uh, I was singing and... and dancing, and I turned and... I’m sorry?”</p>
<p>Sticking out her lip, her eyes beginning to fill with tears, she was as cute as she was infuriating, but then, as Clark knew to his cost, that was Lois, when she was acting as if she were six or twenty-six.</p>
<p>“I’ll help you clean up,” he told her gently. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” he asked as he shrugged off his jacket.</p>
<p>“Twisted my ankle a little,” she said, hopping up to sit on the counter again. “Kiss it better,” she urged him, throwing out her leg so fast she very nearly kicked him in the face, and twirling her ankle around and around, only proving it couldn’t really hurt that badly.</p>
<p>Clark sighed, gently took a hold of her leg and planted a quick kiss on Lois ankle. “There you go, all better,” he insisted, trying not to be amused by how she blushed and giggled like the kid she seemed to be right now. “Now, let’s get this mess cleaned up, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” she said, hopping back down to the floor, seeming to forget she had one broken heel.</p>
<p>She skidded a little on the ice-cream spill too and went down fast.</p>
<p>Though Clark was known for his fast reactions, or rather Superman was, he had been reaching for the broom and didn’t quite manage to reach Lois before she landed with a thud, her head smacking loudly against the tile. In a panic, he rushed to help her up, yelling her name when he realised she was out cold. Then just as fast as she blacked out, she seemed to come to, blinking rapidly and looking very confused.</p>
<p>“Clark?” she said groggily, one hand going to the back of her head and causing her to hiss with the pain. “What happened?”</p>
<p>“You slipped and hit your head,” he told her gently, helping her to sit back against the cabinets.</p>
<p>“But I wasn’t... The last thing I remember is a knock at the door,” said Lois, eyes darting around the room. “When did I come into the kitchen?”</p>
<p>Clark’s eyes narrowed as he began to realise what had happened. The bump on the head just now had clearly woken Lois up from her de-aged spell, but she also seemed to have no memory of any of that at all.</p>
<p>“I think maybe whoever was at the door did something, maybe sprayed you with a substance that altered your mind,” he explained.</p>
<p>“That man.” Lois shook her head slightly as she seemed to be trying to recall more clearly. “With the cosmetic samples, he... he said... Oh God, why can’t I remember?”</p>
<p>“Okay, it’s okay,” Clark reassured his confused wife, pulling her into his arms and offering comfort. “We’ll figure it out,” he promised her, even now sighing with relief.</p>
<p>Clearly there was a bad guy up to no good that they needed to catch, and of course, they would, all in good time. Meanwhile, Clark was just glad to have Lois back to normal and he really, really hoped she stayed that way from now on!</p>
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